Copyright © 2012-2013 Renu. All rights reserved.
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"Doctor Naidu called on your mobile." His hand stopped moving and he placed a towel in his hand, giving me a serious look.
"So, what did he say?" He asked raised his eyes but his voice had no excitement, just strong and serious.
"You lied to me…" He looked at me griefly and nodded.
"Why?" There were tears in my eyes that jumped off rolling down my cheeks.
"I was busy…" He said, ignoring my question and looked in front of mirror again. This time he was wiping his wet chest and then his masculine arms.
"Don't lie. Nihaal." I said moving closer to him. I searched for his eagle-like eyes that were not ready to look up at me. They were gazing down at the marble floor.
I continued, "I know you have never gone for the check-ups," a flash of regret on his face, as his eagle-like eyes met mine, which were innocent, causing me to forget to scream at him.
I was not angry on him, I just wanted a reason why he lied to me.
"Answer me Nihaal? I'm still waiting for your answer." He looked down towards my face, placing his hands on my shoulders, with a displeasing feeling in his touching gesture.
"I'm sorry Naina but I had no choice." His voice turning subtle.
"Why you think like that?" I asked, giving him an unconvinced look.
"Because it's too late" his words threw bomb on my head. I tried to grasp his words, but it was difficult for me to understand.
Too late? I do not think so. If there were anything like this, the doctor would have told me. He is still ready to do Nihaal's treatment.
"Nihaal please stop there is nothing too late" I paused in-between, looking up into his eagle-like eyes.
"It is Naina you don't know anything…" He said raised his eyes and calmly continued, "I can't do this anymore."
"What you can't do?" I asked. He avoided my question and looked towards mirror, watching his own reflection while wiping his hair towards his temples.
"Nihaal, please answer? What is troubling you? I want to help you." I said moved forward towards him. I grabbed his masculine arm, hard as a rock. My back unknowingly rubbing against the dresser mirror.
"Look at me Nihaal? I want an answer!" I yelled.
He finally tilted his head towards me. Looking down at me he says, "It's getting late please let me get ready." I shook my head.
"You have to answer my question first. I'm not going to allow you to leave this room, before you answer me!" I stressed pointing my forefinger into his chest, raising my voice louder.
"I told you. I'm not going to do any treatment from him." He said moving forwards towards the bed.
"Why? I want to know!" I grabbed his arm and forced him to look into my eyes.
"Because nothing is wrong with me!" He said as he grabbed me by the arm and widened his eyes, emphasizing that he is indeed perfectly fine.
"Nothing is wrong with you? You know what is wrong with you and still you want to pretend that everything is fine?" He nodded.
"Yes, because I'm fine!" He scowled.
"You are not. You better accept that and try to control your anger!" I yelled looking him straight in the eye.
"I have control my anger." He pushed me down on the bed, I was bit scared looking into his eyes that were already burning in fire. He leaned close to my face and whispered in my ear, "I'm fine Naina. Don't worry about me."
"No. you are not. You forgot how badly you had beaten those criminals?" I wanted to scream at him, but my throat choked and small voice came out instead.
"They deserved it! They are the criminals and they deserve punishment!" He lifted my hand towards his forearm, bringing me closer to him, his face close to mine and he said under his breath, "Do you think I did wrong punishing them? Don't they deserve punishment?" His voice choked but I could not feel any guilt in his voice.
"Yes, they do deserve punishment. But you wanted to kill them." I whispered.
"I wish I could… Aditiya had stopped me. Otherwise, they would have been dead." He frowned and his warm breath seeped into my small nose. I inhaled.
"They would be dead and you would have been sent to jail. Is that what you want?" He shook his head.
"Look, I have only harmed criminals. I never did anything to you, Aditiya, or even that doctor, who is desperate to do my treatment." He shoved my shoulder and pushed me away from him.
"So that is why you don't want to do treatment?" He nodded, tilting his head the other way so he did not have to look at me.
"Basically you are waiting when you will harm me, Aditiya, or even that doctor, then you will continue with your treatment. Right?" I pointing my forefinger to his chest.
"How can you even say like that!" He screamed raising his voice to full-volume.
It made me feel guilty to ask, but then I had no other option, except taunting him.
"This is what you said? You didn't harm me, Aditiya or even that doctor. So indirectly you are saying samething that I said directly." He shook his head.
"You know, I can never ever harm you." He grabbed my arm and innocently looked at me. His eagle-like eyes were conscious to look into my eyes. He looked the other way and furrowed his brows.
"You are not harming me today. But what about tomorrow? If you behave like this, one day you will harm me, your best friend, or even that doctor. Then what are you going to do?" He grimaced.
"Enough Naina, that day will never come in my life." He said shrugging his shoulder and continued, "Understand?"
"It will If you don't control your anger, it will come in your life."
"No!" He said frustrated.
"Why not?" I demanded.
"Because you are my life and you know how much I love you." He squeezed my face and continued, "I could never… ever think of harming you." He paused in between and a desperation in his eagle-like eyes provoked.
I know how important I am in his life but there is a part of him, which is difficult for me to understand. Sometimes he shows too much care towards me and sometimes he behaves like a stranger. When his anger goes out of control, he stops me from coming closer as if he is scared of something.
I knew about his angered nature before marriage, but he always protected me. But, after marriage he is fighting with something that is going deep inside him and I still cannot figure it out…
"I know that you can never think of harming me. But your anger is not in your control." I continued, "Please listen to me? Please continue with your treatment?" I pleaded.
"The day I'll think that I'm danger for you, I will not return…" he uttered painfully. His eyes were looking the other direction, not ready to meet my eyes.
"What?" I confusingly stared hearing his threatening words. He shook his head and I continued, "Why did you say it like that? You will not return?"
"Because that day I will kill myself…" I placed my hand on my mouth and shook my head.
"Please never say those words again. I love you Nihaal and I can't see you in pain." My voice was cracking as I could feel my throat choke and tears began streaming from my eyes. He wiped my tears with his index finger and hugged me tightly in his arms.
He whispered, "I know that but…" I interrupted him.
"If you know then for my sake, please go to doctor today?" I responded.
"Okay. If this is what you want." He paused "I will go."
"Promise?" I hold my hand in front of him, asking him to put his palm on mine.
He placed his palm on mine and replied, "Yes."
At the end, he hugged me again in his arms tightly, I felt a bond in his words that gave me a hope that he would control his anger soon.
At that moment, I glanced down on his waist and started laughing. He pulled me away from him and gave me a confused look…
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Copyright © 2012-2013 Renu. All rights reserved.
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